IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE! I typed that as though I was excited. I am a bit, but not loads mostly on account of being over 10 years old. Its also because I got given a present from Santa early yesterday. It was a massive spot on my forehead, bright red like a burning beacon to herald others through the snow. I wonder if its a sign that perhaps he wants me to be the new Rudolph? Although the thought of a man chained to a sleigh is more S+M than Santa Claus, and I cant say I entertain the thought of staying up all night and working on Xmas Day much. What the spot probably is, is some sort of penance for eating like its Christmas Day too early. Last night myself and Layla indulged in a bowl of pasta so big that had it been thrown at a child that child would’ve been covered in pasta. Admittedly, if you threw almost any size bowl of pasta at a child they’d get covered in it, so its not a good analogy. Instead, imagine a bowl of pasta. Now make it bigger. Bigger than that. Bigger than that. No wait, back one. Now put cheese on it. I assume you start at exactly the same bowl of pasta as I had and you should get there. If you eat pasta out of a mug or something then it won’t work. It will also be evidence that everything you do is wrong. The pasta was so big that we only worked through the first half of LOTR: The Two Towers (extended edition, we aren’t that weak) before both of us fell asleep before midnight. I know. I know. I haven’t crashed out that early for many years and it was brilliant. You could say I was pastasleep. Ha! Ha ha! Oh god.
As its the big day tomorrow – in that I will eat so much food I will physically grow bigger – today’s blog shall merely be a small playlist for your listening pleasure during tomorrow’s mayhem. It is highly possible that your family have no taste and will insist on playing jingly music that makes your mind want to claw its way through your eyes and throw itself at your dad. And no one wants that during lunch. My family are fairly good with mostly festive classical things, followed by whatever me and my brother wrangle onto the stereo. However, on Boxing Day we are heading to Layla’s family and no doubt her nieces and nephews will insist on some serious dross. So to avoid all aural distress try this for a playlist. Some tracks you can download because its Christmas so nothing is illegal:
T’s Christmas Playlist:
1. Go Power At Christmas – James Brown
2. Everything Is One Big Christmas Time – The Magnetic Fields
3. Hey Guys! Its Christmas Time! – Sufjan Stevens
4. White Christmas – Esquivel
5. Santa Claus – The Sonics
6. Christmas In Hollis – Run DMC
7. Christmas Rappin’ – Kurtis Blow
8. Santa Claus Go Straight To The Ghetto – James Brown
9. Getting Down For Xmas – Milly & Silly
10. A Hazy Shade Of Winter – Simon & Garfunkel
11. Calling On Mary – Aimee Mann
12. Winter In America – Gill Scott Heron & Brian Jackson
13. Frosty the Snowman – Fiona Apple
14. White Winter Hymnal – Fleet Foxes
15. Christmas Eve – Gorky’s Zygotic Mynci
16. The Blizzard – Camera Obscura
17. Silent Night – Tom Waits
18. Fairytale In New York – Florence and the Machine & Billy Bragg
19. The Last of The Melting Snow – Leisure Society
20. Hallelujah – Jeff Buckley
Have it : http://www.zshare.net/download/70316548719ed548/
Enjoy! And if you don’t then here is a bonus track for you miserable bastards. (Also one of my favourite Christmas tracks ever)
Have it in your Christmas Face: http://www.zshare.net/download/703157512d501097/
One track I didn’t put on there is Tim Minchin’s awesome ‘White Wine In The Sun’ but I think you should have to pay for that one via iTunes so there.
Blogs over the next few days will be minimal as I will be in a Xmasified stupour. They will be there though so do check once you’ve got hugely sick of your family. MERRY BLOODY CHRISTMAS EVE!
