Merry Christmas everyone! Yes, even you! No, don’t turn around. There’s no one behind you. You, I mean you. Merry Christmas, festive greetings, Merry Xmas, Marry Crispmass (this is illegal in some states in the US so be careful) and Happity Chrimbo or whatever else it is that nobheads say. Of course I’m not properly […]
I’m currently in a fraught state of mind. I am in the flat by myself on Christmas Eve and I’m trying to find anything to do except play Xbox, for fear that without any supervision, nor any work to do whatsoever, I will start only find myself unmoved 12 hours later still making Batman run […]
I know I’ve harped on about this before, but Christmas is the season of goodwill? Really? Are we all sure about that? Its something I hear year in, year out, and yet as I stare out the window looking at the sleek black Lexus that is happily parked on our drive, in my space, under […]
It is one thing buying a huge half wheel of Stilton on account of it being on offer, but it is another thing entirely to actually eat the entire thing. Since purchasing this blue creamy beast several days ago, it has been crumbled and melted into all sorts of meals in a poor attempt to […]
I’m in a hotel room in Leeds. This is the sort of glamorous life a comedian has. Only a week till Christmas and I’m residing in a place that smells of gravy almost 24/7 and has ‘Christmas parties’ that seem to go on at full volume until the early hours with no care whatsoever for […]
I’m in a perpetual state of fug today. You can go for days not having enough sleep and feeling tired and then one day, like today, have too much sleep and feel tired. Is this just how its meant to be from now on? Trying desperately to work out the exact right amount of sleep […]
FROZEN PLANET The press seemed to have kicked off today because a little bit of the best television show of recent times, Frozen Planet, was filmed in a German Zoo. The footage of baby polar bears, the likes of which has never been seen before, has pissed off all of about 12 journalists and no […]
I’ve been to see my tiny nan today. I usually come away with some sort of brilliant tale or insight after seeing my nan, who is still oh so very sharp in her old age. Today’s was a brilliant story of a neighbour of hers who rather sadly suffers from severe dementia. This lady suddenly […]
I don’t have to do a thing today. I’m trying my best efforts not to leave the house unless absolutely necessary. Necessary means things like ‘if the house was filled with zombies’, ‘if the house was on fire’ or ‘if the house was filled with fire zombies’, so chances are high I’m going nowhere. The […]
Lots of things to say today after a missed blog yesterday due to having lunch with a friend that lasted about an hour and a half longer than expected. Not a bad thing and much fun chat, evil plans and sausage sandwiches were had, but upon leaving I bought myself Arkham City for the Xbox […]