Its clear I should never be a detective. How on earth would I ever be able to piece clues together to find out who the murderer was, when I’m currently struggling to work out exactly what the last 30 minutes of my evening entailed last night. Shoes thrown across the floor, a brown jumper that’s […]
Hello Friday. Sometimes its nice to greet the day. Mostly we just say hello to each other or say ‘Good Day’ which is mostly treating the day like a dog. No need to patronising. Most people like Fridays. Often they thank God for them, which I think is a tad overzealous and not thought through […]
Once again several hours of today have been spent looking at flats, just so I can get further ideas of places I never want to live. Today’s gems included a place with ‘3 double bedrooms’, that when inspected, had two rooms with single beds in it. On enquiry, Matt was told ‘Well they used to […]
Spending Review Review * Despite an overly confident manner, its not easy to warm to George Osbourne, not least due to his cold, calculating villainous eyes. However it would be churlish to base this reviewers review on a man’s physical appearance, not least because its a terrifying lizard like one, so instead it shall be […]
It is a constant frustration for me that I don’t understand more about politics than I do. Sure you could argue that I could learn, but that’s not what’s holding me back. Its a complete in ability to take the knowledge in without feeling an immense desire to sleep. I sifted through the list of […]
Its around that time of year when I’m due to get a cold. Its much like the time of the year every year when the Northern line stops working or when someone on TV says something a bit racist and it takes up all the press for weeks on end rather than the person just […]
It doesn’t matter how long I’ve been doing this comedy lark, you really can’t ever quite work out what a gig will be like. Last night I did that stupid thing of judging a book entirely by its cover. This can sometimes work. Such as with the Dictionary. Or a book about famous covers of […]
I recently got Red Dead Redemption for the Xbox (yes women fall asleep now, its for the best. Men, yes I’m years behind everyone else in terms of game buying) and as well as making me addicted to staying indoors and hitting buttons like an agoraphobic panto hater, its very much made me realise I’d […]
Motivation. That’s what I need today. I’m not being a slob or anything, I am just merely doing everything but the writing I should be doing. So far procrastination has led me to tidy up my room, eat a bigger breakfast than I felt like purely as it would take longer to make, pay bills […]
I’m hungover, tired and writing this whilst sitting in my new onesi, which is by the way, the comfiest thing I have ever had the pleasure of wearing. Its like donning a duvet and being constantly hugged by it. I think the only way I could be more content right now would be if I […]