SPOT THE DIFFERENCE There comes a point every single fringe where I get a big spot on my nose. Its as regular as every other element of the fringe and appears that my personal stress likes to manifest itself in a way that makes me look like Rudolph the Red Nose Human Dude. This year, […]
If you ever hear me saying the phrase ‘It’s drink o’clock’ again, please kindly put an arm round me and cart me away to somewhere safe as its clear what will happen next is not in my best interests. To prove a point, today’s blog, at 3.45pm comes to you via some still very drunk […]
I’VE HAD SOME SLEEP! WOOHOO! 9 whole frikkin’ hours of pure undiluted snoozery filled with some severely mad cap dreams and quite possibly some classic old school snoring (I wouldn’t know, I was asleep). Batteries recharged? Feeling like I could leap over lampposts? Er……no. Just more sleepy now. Stupid sleep. I did lots of things […]
They didn’t see it coming. Someone should’ve warned them. Someone should have prepared. The fringe that never sleeps just got a wake up call. From the depths of Brookes bar a vicious beast emerged and swept through the hordes eliminating all possibility of an early night and damaging throats and dignity in one fell swoop. […]
Its an odd thing, but after having looked forward to my day off pretty much since the fringe started, I’ve now had it and I’m worried its been detrimental rather than useful. Prior to that, I had momentum. I was a veritable office desk toy of comedy. Tap me and I shall swing. I don’t […]
Its my day off today so I’m gonna keep this blog brief, like a pair of pants. (Regular blog readers from some months back may have missed that phrase. Well fear not, I fully intend to bring it back into the vernacular). So here is just a few notes about the last day or so, […]
I’m typing today’s blog wearing shorts, a tshirt and my trainers. This much information may already be way too much for some of you to handle and I’d like to apologise for the lack of warning about a possible sexytime blog. More likely however, several of you are sitting there thinking ‘Douieb you cad, its […]
I thought it would happen earlier but no, it hit yesterday, on all days, Friday the frikkin’ 13th. I have officially hit the wall. I honestly couldn’t care less today if the fringe blew up or fell over or set fire to its face. I’ve had enough already. This fringe is too long. Its so […]
Ooooooh it’s Friday the 13th. Scary stuff, if you’re superstitious that is. Superstitious is the shittest of all superheros. ‘I am Superstitious! Beware my incredible abilities of being scared of black cats and ladders!’ Useless. I’m not superstitious. Much. I mean if I was to walk around today and suddenly my entire street was filled […]
Its very difficult to kill time in Edinburgh. This is not just because its a concept and destroying it would annoy a lot of people. For a start there’d be no more birthdays, people would be late for everything and Doctor Who would be a tad pointless. Saying that, people also wouldn’t age and in […]