HEATED MOMENTS Traffic on a hot day is up there with the most worstest things everest. I have just driven my brother to the airport because I am the best brother in the whole widest worldest, and much of the journey consisted of us sitting in traffic, slowly boiling until we could probably have been […]
A small boring bullet point blog today as I have to go and argue over what’s mine that’s still in my old flat. I say argue, but it’ll probably be fairly amicable as I find reasons as to why I need a television more than my ex does. So far I’m practicing the argument that […]
I’d probably call myself a purist when it comes to tampering with classic tales and legends. Nothing captures my imagination more than a good story and it really bothers me when someone decides that tale that’s been around for years and years and most certainly ain’t broke, needs fixing. Its happened time and time again […]
I always get to airports early. It’s part of what my friend Mat has coined as an ‘over developed sense of urgency’. It means that something in the back of my head panics that if I don’t get to the airport at least an hour or two before I need to, there is a chance […]
Before last night my image of the RAF was very much men wearing leather hats and goggles, with slightly curled moustaches saying phrases like ‘Chocks Away!’, ‘Toodle Pip’ and talking about rogering things a lot. “Roger that’. I assumed a lot of stuff got rogered. Then I thought there would be a few of them […]
Last night in my dream I had to eat popcorn that never seemed to end and all the while I did it, a man in a Hawaiian shirt kept humming the calypso theme. Then there was a bit where somebody kept running up behind me, stroking my arms and running away and the only other […]
TENT-TATIVE I’ve just bought a tent. I’ve never bought a tent before. I’ve borrowed tents, often to return them in a state of muddied ruin, with tent pegs bent all out of shape and the whole package shoved back into its tiny bag with seemingly high disregard so that it looks to be experiencing a […]
I’ll be honest. I’m still a bit drunk. This blog could go all over the shop if its any indication of how I feel. I feel all over the shop. If I was in a shop right now, I would be all over it like a rash. Big department stores would be a challenge but […]
FLYING ANTS Yesterday was supposedly that day where all the flying ants appear. I should probably research it and find out why that it, but I like to think shedloads of ants wake up with wings, get all happy and over excited and race around like the red antrrows (see what I did?) then wake […]
This is a mini blog. Hence the name blig. Things become instantly smaller sounding if you replace their vowels for ‘i’s. There used to be a barmaid at the Sir Thomas A Becket pub in Canterbury who looked exactly like Anna Kornikova if she was a bit squished. Therefore we renamed the barmaid Ini Kinikivi. […]