I got my tax forms through this morning. A large letter saying ‘open immediately’ and upon opening then tells you you have till October to do it. There really is nothing like false urgency. Maybe they are worried that if it stays within the envelope for more than 20 mins on arrival it’ll explode or […]
So an election has been announced on the day that we had all pretty much been told an election would happen. Not much of a surprise really. I don’t really understand what it means that the Queen has to dissolve Parliament. I’d have thought it was a pretty insoluble building. Otherwise you’d have thought that […]
Happy the Day Where Jesus’s Life Insurance Providers Sue Him For Fraud! A brief blog for Easter Montag today as I’m about to go an eat lunch at my parents. Despite the fact that I am still pretty full from yesterday’s antics at Layla’s family’s do, I am fully prepared to refuel again today at […]
Happy Zombie Jesus Day everyone! Its today we all get together and celebrate the fact that like all the other denizens of the undead, Jesus rose again on this day (or one of the other days that is sometimes Easter Sunday, no-one’s really sure) and he went round asking his followers to eat his flesh […]
As I type this I’m sitting watching Football Focus. I’ll be honest, its possibly my least favourite program in the world. Apart from all those other programs I also really hate more. Apart from those, its definitely my most hated program that’s on the telly. Why am I watching it? Well my friend Louis has […]
Its not very often I feel like I’m trapped inside a Trumanesque show where life is staged to specifically make things difficult or weird for me, but the events of last night and this morning feel like they could only have been written as part of a collaboration between the Coen Brothers, Tim Burton, Mike […]
Well that’s it. I’ve decided never ever to blog again. HA HA! APRIL FOOLS! See what I did there? Yeah, I’m so badass. Or am I? APRIL FOOLS AGAIN! Ha! Hahahaha! Wow, all this April Fooling is really tiring. I can’t work out how my dad did it everyday in his job as an official […]
Why have I only just discovered the album ‘Snacktime’ by the Barenaked Ladies? Andre Vincent played it in the car on the way home from our Wolverhampton excursion, and I can honestly say its was a happy aural realisation. If you haven’t heard it, its an entire album of kids songs, including a track called […]
I’ve barely had time to breathe today, let alone blog, dearest readers. So if this blog ends up half finished before trailing off, its because I’ve passed out due to a lack of oxygen in the brain. I’ve just returned from a morning of a fun script reading with Shane muthafrkkin Richie – who wants […]
I woke up today at 12.30, moseyed around for a while, then ate takeaway curry leftovers for breakfast. This is a sign that either my life is going very very right or completely and utterly wrong. I’m not sure which, but if this is a one off I’ll say the former, whereas if it happens […]