I woke up today at 12.30, moseyed around for a while, then ate takeaway curry leftovers for breakfast. This is a sign that either my life is going very very right or completely and utterly wrong. I’m not sure which, but if this is a one off I’ll say the former, whereas if it happens […]
So the clocks went forward last night, which is the direction I thought they always went in. It often concerns me a lot more when they go backwards. How will they know when to stop? What if they keep going backwards for years, reversing the ageing process and making such films as the Case of […]
Its 12.38 and I only woke up 38 minutes ago. That’s superbly awesome. Yes, I could have just said ‘I woke up at midday’ but you’ll be thanking me for forcing you to keep you on your toes with simple maths when your brain doesn’t deteriorate. If your brain still does deteriorate then you can’t […]
Yesterday I had a post on my blog from a chap called Paul who seemed concerned I had already written off yesterday’s blog. This post was on the blog on my Facebook fanpage before you ask, and you were going to and yes I do have one, and yes I set it up myself which […]
Today is one of those days where I have looked at my gig diary and sighed in sadness about how stupid it is. Today I drive 200 miles to North Wales and then 200 miles all the way back, by myself, for a gig I wont see the cash for for at least four months. […]
I’ve got to write my 40 word blurb for Edinburgh today and do poster design type things. Yeah, I’m going. What do you mean I said I wasn’t going to go? No, I still haven’t got any sponsorship or any hope of getting enough money to go. Yes I have just bowed down to peer […]
Further proof that I am getting old and my body is breaking: I threw up twice from booze pain this morning. This is hugely unlike me. I have a stomach of steel. Some would probably say its more like a stomach of lard. Either way it used to be very well lined and I had, […]
Its the Chortle awards tonight and I’m very much looking forward to going along only to hear Fat Tuesday hasn’t won Best Small London Club again and then get so drunk I regret it till Thursday. Its nice to have a game plan, and my plan is so game it could me made by Mattel […]
Big round of applause please for the Bullet Points! Everyone’s favourite tool for getting out of writing a long blog, and also a dangerous weapon in type font wars. – LIZZIE AND SARAH If you didn’t see this last night you need to head to your iPlayer now and watch it. Written by and starring […]
That sound, the sound you hopefully made while reading the title of this blog, is the rare sound of me blowing my own trumpet. I don’t do it very often, more importantly, I don’t really like doing it, but sometimes, despite my huge inability to play the trumpet whatsoever, I like to give it a […]