Its the Chortle awards tonight and I’m very much looking forward to going along only to hear Fat Tuesday hasn’t won Best Small London Club again and then get so drunk I regret it till Thursday. Its nice to have a game plan, and my plan is so game it could me made by Mattel […]
Big round of applause please for the Bullet Points! Everyone’s favourite tool for getting out of writing a long blog, and also a dangerous weapon in type font wars. – LIZZIE AND SARAH If you didn’t see this last night you need to head to your iPlayer now and watch it. Written by and starring […]
That sound, the sound you hopefully made while reading the title of this blog, is the rare sound of me blowing my own trumpet. I don’t do it very often, more importantly, I don’t really like doing it, but sometimes, despite my huge inability to play the trumpet whatsoever, I like to give it a […]
Rather boring theme for today’s blog but I thought as its a Friday and my sinuses’ snot production rate has improved by 50%, that I would go for something cheeryish (its a word, deal with it). I might add that when I say the ‘snot production rate has improved’ I mean its got worse. If […]
I’ve woken up properly full of snot today. I hate it when overnight your defence system just packs in and gives up. It started a little bit yesterday with the occasional casual sneeze, and some point overnight levelled up into full on cold. Now I’ve got a few theories on what it might be. There […]
Happy St Patrick’s Day to all you Patrick’s and Saints out there. More importantly to all Irish folks and all those people around the world who use today to pretend to be a bit Irish. I know I’m doing such a thing right now. Somewhere in my ancestry, roughly my great grandma on my mum’s […]
Today has already been a maelstrom of things. By that, I mean I got things in the mail that made me go all strom like. No, I don’t know what a strom is either, but it sounds like something similar to my morning. A cheque made out to Tiernan Diouet was interesting, and then the […]
Sometimes you lot post comments on this blog. Not always but sometimes. Whenever those sometimes are, your comments appear to contain questions, loads and loads of bloody question about this and that and something I’ve written and how do you vote for me in the upcoming elections, and what is the chemical equation for hellfunksupercoolness […]
I feel I may have shot my own leg off by promising a blogsplosion in today’s blog. I’m sure there’s a better more appropriate term for hindering yourself than ‘shot my own leg off’, including just saying that I’ve hindered myself, but as it is ‘shot my own leg off’ is going to be used. […]
I warned you yesterday that today’s blog would be worthless, but here we all are. Lucky for you, you’re not actually ‘here’ as I’m sitting in Luton Airport’s departure lounge, a place that happily dances across the boundaries of being the skankiest rip off agents in the airport world and being ambassadors of the future. […]