I’ve been up since 9am trying to get free tickets for the Rage Against the Machine gig in June. I expected to be stuck in an online queuing system for several hours constantly, and perhaps ironically, getting more and more angry with my machine until smashing my laptop with various bits of hard things out […]
I generally, as rule, hate sports. I don’t really like any of them on account of the fact they take up time watching them that I could be using doing other useful stuff. What other useful stuff you ask? Well, er, all sorts. From walking around kicking my feet to sitting around kicking my feet. […]
I quite liked Avatar. I wasn’t entirely sure I would but it contained all the things I like in films: guns, robots, dragons, arrows, fighting, boobs and blue people. Essentially with this criteria there are very few films that have really fulfilled ‘ideal film’ status for me since the Smurf Special in 1987 and that […]
So its the day of Rome Ants, the biggest ants in Italy and to celebrate just how big Rome Ants are, everyone gets sexy. That’s right, its Valentine’s Day or as I aim to rename it, Valentiernan’s Day. What that will entail is everyone giving me endless love all day on the 14th until we […]
Gotta do shout words at brats again today, ahem, sorry, I mean do Comedy 4 Kids, so today’s blog is gonna be pretty tiny. Fire those bullet points cos here we go: EDINBURGH SHOW – I’ve finally started writing this and feel all a bit excited about it. Everytime I get too excited I remember […]
Last night I made the stupid choice of watching this week’s Horizon program before going to bed thanks to a tweet from Dan Atkinson (@DanAtkinson). There should be a small warning on such things stating that if you are ‘of a large imagination but a small brain in terms of science understanding, then please refrain […]
Listen right, my brain hurts so you are going to get very little from me today. Its all self inflicted, well to an extent anyway. I definitely had some booze last night, so that much is my fault. However I don’t think I had enough booze to condone how shit I feel at the moment […]
Oh dear. I appear to have slept until now. I would say I feel guilty about wasting away half the day but I don’t. Ha ha. Take that all you parents who might say such things. ‘The Best Part Of The Day Is The Morning’. I reckon whoever invented that phrase either was an insomniac […]
I’m not sure if you ever have those moments of sheer self doubt? Those ones where you think ‘have I got it all wrong?’ This happens to me on a rather regular occurrence. Every time I go round a roundabout for example, I get the extreme fear that perhaps I’m going the wrong way, or […]
I’m sure this has been brought upon by me constantly referring to how awesome Mondays are ever since I became a full time stand-up, but it appears today has taken that statement and reworked the concept of Mondays so it can fully kick me in the face with a triple punch of misery. They say […]