Turns out, its pretty difficult to buy ninja weapons at toy shops anymore. Its political correctness gone mad, nanny state gone bananas and anti-ninja laws gone bonkersarooni. I remember back in the day when you used to be able to pop down to your local Toys R Us and buy a playschool bath toy, followed […]
Tonight I have, through mishap and stupidity, managed to not get three possible different gigs. Some due to cancellation, others due to me not thinking that the others may be cancelled. I’m a complete fool. Aha but who is the fool? The fool with the cancelled gigs or the fool who is really looking forward […]
More bullet points today. Sorry blog fans. I’ve been a busy bee. My entire week has been spent gathering pollen for the queen and it takes up quite a bit of time. Bees are pretty bloody busy. I often wonder if the reason why they’re dying out is due to exhaustion. If only they had […]
Some things: iPad So the iPad is now here. What does this mean? I’m not really sure. I’ve got a computer, I have an iPhone and an iPod. More importantly I have actual books and I can read newspapers. Why would I need an iPad? I really don’t know, but goddamn I really want one. […]
When I don’t really have time to write a blog it tends to be expressed in a few ways: a) I’ll freely express in the blog that I don’t have time to write a blog, b) I will cop out and only write a paragraph or two, c) I will cop out and just write […]
Well that’s it then. The recession is officially over according to the news. Well done everyone. All you who’ve been made unemployed, you can go back to work now. Yep that’s fine. All of you who have had entire businesses collapse, yeah just start then again, it’ll be dandy. I’ll stop being poor before it […]
Late and rather brief blog today as I have spent most of the morning sitting in a casting with Tom Craine, surrounded by other short hairy men like myself and other tall thin men like Craine. Sometimes I view these days as opportunities to see ourselves in a parallel universe. Perhaps 6 billion and a […]
Today’s blog isn’t funny. Sadly though, it is true. Maybe play some violin music in the background, imagine everything in black and white and then have a little cry. Or alternatively if you’re the sort of person who mocks the weak, then why not play circus music and read this whilst doing jazz hands and […]
I’m currently racking my brains for ways in which potato waffles are indeed ‘waffley versatile’. So far I reckon that as well as a food substance, they could be used as a tony portcullis for a breakfast based castle, as a fencing mask for someone with a tiny face, or maybe even as tiny windows […]
Its a Friday, its raining, there is very little want to do anything at all. Unfortunately today is the day I start regularly gigging again. Its odd. I should be excited and looking forward to it all but I think I have managed to become some sort of wiling agrophobic. Here are the facts: My […]