Tiernan's Blog / Latest News


Snot Fair

I’m full of snot. I don’t know where its all come from but I have suspicions that someone has built a snot factory within my head and is churning out more than the usual production rate. I’m not really sure why they would do this. Snot has little value in today’s climate. In fact, snot […]

Funny World and Psychic Spies

A man came round this morning to help me sort out debt things. I won’t go into it as while its ultimately a good thing this blog is not about money misery and I don’t want you to revel in the thoughts of Barclaycard making me give them fingers or knees as a last resort […]

Surrealism and Cubism

I’m about to go and eat three tons of molokhia (pronounced as though you are coughing up some serious phlegm) and fatiya (pronounced ‘Tiernan’s favourite Arabic dough parcels’) at Layla’s parents house. I love their feasts and they have that typical Mediterranean/Arabic intention to not let you leave until you have eaten just about everything. […]

Fourball Knockout

My eyes were really full of sleep this morning. I can only assume its some sort of bodily attempt to keep them shut in order to gain even more slumber. I’ve got to do the Comedy Club 4 Kids in a few hours though so that sleep needed to be dealt with. I don’t get […]

It’s a Real Job

I think it says something about the longevity of a relationship when ‘playing doctors and nurses’ actually means giving your partner Lemsips and tucking them up because they’re not very well. Layla’s got a nasty sinus infection and is all bunged up on the sofa making elephantine like blowing nose sounds. Its not very nice […]

Food Scams

There is not much food in our house, and what there is consists of fruit and cake. Not much else, just fruit, and cake. I’d like to think that both those go someway to creating a balanced diet. Fruit is full of vitamins and natural glucose and er, fruit stuff. So no chance of scurvy […]

Headaches, Cakes, Lakes and Steaks (please note the latter two are not featured in this blog)

I really hate headaches. Its Layla’s birthday today so I woke up with her at the stupid time of 6.30am in order to give her my poor man’s present of a card I made and some flowers and make her breakfast before she went to work. My penance for doing such things is that when […]

Word Limit

More writing needs to happen today and so this blog must take the hit for it. I live in fear that I am only allocated a certain amount of words per day and if I filled four pages with this blog then I would lose all ability to write anything else for the rest of […]

Darling Clemetine (and Tolx Screwdriver)

There are times in my life where I really wonder exactly what I’m doing. As I walked down Seven Sisters Road with a bunch of clementines in one hand and a Tolx 27 screwdriver in the other, I had a moment of clarity where I realised that I must’ve looked like some sort of fruit […]

£21.50

I’m starting to believe that cat hairs don’t necessarily come from cats. I’m almost certain they just appear from nowhere or perhaps grow on inanimate objects. Yesterday me and Layla spent a long time cleaning the flat, properly scrubbing and dusting and hoovering and all those things, and we found cat hairs in places we […]