There is a Matt Reed in my house. He was staying in London and made to leave the flat very early, so instead of letting him wander the streets of Finsbury Park by himself we have taken him in, given him tea, and hidden the valuables. The morning is to be spent watching Jeremy Kyle […]
I’ve got to go and get my haircut in a minute. I’ve been needing a chop and a snip for sometime now, but have been trying to leave it as close to going away as possible as I know I won’t be able to get it cut in Spain or Scotland. They don’t have barbers […]
This blog is late. Much later than I intended. I went out for what was meant to be 30 minutes to pick up some giant pictures of cheese and men wearing monocles on expensive bits of card so I can use them for one 30 second joke in my Edinburgh show, and I ended up […]
I watched 28 Weeks Later last night. Having seen 28 Days Later several times and then calling my show 28 Years Later, I felt it was only right to familiarise myself with the second installment of the infected ‘zombie’ horror movie franchise. It goes without saying that it terrified me for some time afterwards. During […]
Why is it so difficult to find a hi-res image of a piece of cheese? Ok realistically I can’t imagine why many people would ever take pictures of cheese, then make them hi-res and put them online for the joy of everyone to see. But at the same time the internet has entire websites dedicated […]
This blog shall be brief as I have timed my day very badly and slept a bit more than was necessary. I say that but its a Sunday, so there is no amount of sleep that is unnecessary. Unless of course you are due to be at someone’s house for lunch. Which me and Layla […]
Trainers, sneakers, runners, fancy man shoes, bits of plastic and leather made by kids in sweat shops, shoe champions, not-gloves, foot warmers, trouser stoppers – whatever you want to call them, I’m going to buy some today. Once a year I have trainer day where I spend far too long trying to find one pair […]
I feel damaged by Guitar Hero. Until last night I’d never played it before and had no idea it was so brain damaging. I think it may have something to do with my lack of coordination. Hitting all the different coloured buttons at the right time, to music, just doesn’t work with my brain. They […]
How long does rush hour actually last for now? Its not merely an hour, and I think the name now poses some sort of false hope that within 60 minutes you will be freely racing around the city as though you were the only car in the world. In fact, what happens when the initial […]
My flat is very grey today. Think its possibly due to the lack of sunlight and the fact I haven’t yet put the lights on. I should probably do that. But by not doing it, I can pretend I am helping the planet and at the same time pretend I am in a film noir. […]